Day 232

have you ever experienced one of those light bulb moments where suddenly the fog is lifted and everything makes sense (well maybe not evetrything, but a lot of things)? And then you sit back and think, wow, it really took me a long time to realize this, hmm… well, this morning i had one of those when i was reading my bible and devotional book (My Utmost for His Highest by Oswald Chambers – such a classic!)

the verse that stuck out to me today was 2 Corinthians 4:17-18:
For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen. For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal.

i love this verse because it says, momentary troubles, and that is the thing, even if they last a lifetime, compared to eternity, they really are only momentary. hmm, 80 years on earth vs. eternity in heaven, think about it. and then it goes on to tell us to fix our eyes on the unseen as the seen is temporary but what is unseen is eternal. well praise the Lord! if what is seen is temporary, then all the worry and fret over problems and struggles is so not worth it, as they are seen and this verse just told us they are temporary. what is unseen is eternal, and what is it we don’t physically see, our God. and He is eternal, no beginning and no end.

and then, in My Utmost, i read the following:
“The joy of Jesus was his absolute surrender and self-sacrifice to the Father – the joy of doing that which the father sent him to do.”

and it continues:
“The first thing that will hinder this joy is the subtle irritability caused by giving too much thought to our circumstances.”

so, i realized (not for the first time mind you, probably for the 100th but apparently my feeble mind needs to be reminded over and over again) if what is seen is temporary, then all my circumstances are temporary, and if i am putting too much thought to them, then i won’t experience this joy. (caveat, joy is not happiness, they are two very different things, being joyful in the Lord is being certain of your future as you know in all things God works for the good of those who love him, even when you can’t see it.) if i am consumed with my own circumstances then i am not doing what i have been called to do, because i’m too wrapped up in myself – i have now robbed myself of the joy of the Lord. am i making any sense here? so, despite how i feel, i need to get over myself and my circumstances and know that “he who began a good work is faithful to complete it.” praise the Lord!

tonight i brought the cookies to the women's ministry book club and they were eaten up, thank goodness! i did not need them in my house :)

Day 231

there is something very therapeutic about baking the same cookies your mom always did when you were a child :)

Day 230

nothing like when the coffee stock is refilled. i think the only thing better would be if i had my own DQ. hmm... i wonder...

Day 229

tonight i brought a lasagna to my friend jasmine and her husband junie as she's on bed rest for the remainder of her pregnancy (at least 4 more weeks and she has been on bed rest for almost two months already - please pray for her and the baby). they live in des plaines and on my way back i drove past the mcdonald's museum. i had to get a pic...

Day 228

tonight i had dinner with emily and ashleigh. the three of us have created a little book club :) i forgot to take a pic in the restaurant so poor em had to be my subject once we got in the car. thanks em, always a trooper!

Day 227

yum... this is tonight's dinner. lasagna for shelly and i :)

Day 226

today was my cousin's wedding. it was a very pretty wedding and his bride looked beautiful. it was great to see all the family as well - there are a lot of us :)

Day 225

i took a half day at work today to fly to CT for my cousin's wedding this weekend. tonight i got to ride in my youngest sister's car to the rehearsal dinner. she just got her license and this was the first time i drove with her. she did an awesome job! i was very impressed :)

every friday one individual from my department leads devotions for us all. this is not my cup of tea, but it stretches me, so i guess that is good :) anyway, today was my turn and i wasn't quite sure what to do this week so i just shared from my heart. thought i would post it here as well...

This week has really forced me to try to understand James 1:2-4:

Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.

I don’t think I will ever completely grasp this concept - finding, really choosing joy through trials - but I can see a little more what James is trying to tell us. In the first break-in God’s grace covered me, and I was barely phased – even though the perpetrators actually got in! This second time though, I have not been nearly as steady – and they didn’t get in this time. This is not because God has changed, not because His grace is insufficient, but more because of my lack of faith in myself. We all know the Lord does not give us more than we can handle, but I have been questioning that this week. Lord, can I really handle this again? And yet, there is a part of me that knows I can, by God’s grace and provision, I can handle anything. Not by my might, but by His spirit.

I find myself asking why Lord, why again? What are you trying to teach me that I am just not getting? Or perhaps this isn’t even about me, perhaps this is for the criminals that seem to like my home. Perhaps all this is so they will be caught and maybe through being caught they will have the chance to turn their lives around, a chance they might not have had otherwise. (or maybe i am supposed to move?) I don’t know the answer, but I sure would like to know.

Then today I came across this poem by Russell Kelfer:

The Wait Poem

Desperately, helplessly, longingly, I cried;

Quietly, patiently, lovingly, God replied.

I pled and I wept for a clue to my fate . . .

And the Master so gently said,"Wait."

"Wait? You say wait?" my indignant reply.

"Lord, I need answers, I need to know why!"

Is your hand shortened? Or have you not heard?

By faith I have asked, and I'm claiming your Word.

My future and all to which I relate,

Hangs in the balance, and you tell me to Wait?

I'm needing a 'yes,' a go-ahead sign.

Or even a 'no,' to which I'll resign.

You promised, dear Lord, that if we believe,

We need but to ask, and we shall receive.

Lord, I've been asking, and this is my cry:

I'm weary of asking! I need a reply.

Then quietly, softly, I learned of my fate,

As my Master replied again, "Wait."

So I slumped in my chair, defeated and taut,

And grumbled to God, "So, I'm waiting . . . for what?"

He seemed then to kneel, and His eyes met with mine . . .

And He tenderly said, "I could give you a sign.

I could shake the heavens and darken the sun.

I could raise the dead and cause mountains to run.

I could give all you seek and pleased you would be.

You'd have what you want, but you wouldn't know Me.

You'd not know the depth of My love for each saint.

You'd not know the power that I give to the faint.

You'd not learn to see through clouds of despair;

You'd not learn to trust just by knowing I'm there.

You'd not know the joy of resting in Me,

When darkness and silence are all you can see.

You'd never experience the fullness of love,

When the peace of My spirit descends like a dove.

You would know that I give, and I save, for a start,

But you'd not know the depth of the beat of My heart.

The glow of My comfort late into the night,

The faith that I give when you walk without sight.

The depth that's beyond getting just what you ask,

From an infinite God who makes what you have last.

You'd never know should your pain quickly flee,

What it means that My grace is sufficient for thee.

Yes, your dearest dreams overnight would come true,

But oh, the loss if I lost what I'm doing in you.

So, be silent, my child, and in time you will see,

That the greatest of gifts is to truly know me.

And though oft My answers seem terribly late,

My most precious answer of all is still "WAIT".

This poem spoke so loudly to me. I have come to the Lord in prayer about a few things in the past few months and each time I hear him say wait. And each time I want to say but no, I just need a “yes” or a “no” – in fact, I will happily take a no, because at least then I will have the answer. But I know, wait IS the answer right now, whether I like it or not.

Then today I came across this verse again (for the fifth time this month – and I am not exaggerating):

Romans 8:24-25 (abbreviated): But hope that is seen is no hope at all. Who hopes for what he already has? But if we hope for what we do not yet have, we wait for it patiently.

There is that word again, WAIT. I find I have to remind myself, wait does not mean stop. It means seek the Lord and grow in faith as you trust Him while He directs your path. Seek what it is He wants you to learn, grow in the faith that can move mountains, all the while serving Him.

I will do my best to choose joy through every trial, regardless of how I feel or if the answer isn’t pleasing to my ears. I know one day, even if it isn’t until I am in heaven, I will look back at all this and see that God’s glorious plan was being fulfilled.

Day 224

there was this INSANE storm tonight - i took this photo on my way home. the clouds were so low and rolling over each other, it was pretty spectacular.

Day 223

today was the first official day of students arriving on campus and this is the flare the staff wears to welcome them :) nice design zack!

Day 222

today was not a very good day... two men tried to break-in to my place again. thankfully they kicked the door partway and my alarm went off before they could get in. i don't know for sure if it was the same guys, i don't know much, but what i do know is they didn't get in this time and for that i am thankful - a series of bad events usually means something good is around the corner. man, i hope so.

so needless to say, i felt pretty down tonight and then, i turned on the TV and america's got talent was on... and who was singing, the one and only david hasselhof. it was then i realized, as bad as my day has been, it could be worse, i could be david hasselhof - yuck!

Day 221

my piece of heaven on earth :)

Day 220

no pic today - totally spaced it out

Day 219

this morning i dropped my dad off at one of the golf courses in the area. this was the view from the drive, simply beautiful :)

one last pic of my nephew from breakfast - so stinkin' cute!!

Day 218

after a day of rafting down the colorado river, we rode horses up beaver creek mountain to beano's cabin. it was amazing - the weather was perfect, the food awesome and we all just had a blast together

beano's cabin

the view from the front porch, gorgeous!

one of the many porcupines who like to nibble on the vegetable bread. i had never seen a porcupine before, so cute!

Day 217

day two of climbing. today rocked! we climbed a 5.10 - none of us had done that before, it was awesome!!

that's me

there's morgan again :)

there's mike :)

Day 216

today we hiked gore creek trail. this is a zoomed in shot of the avalanche slide at the top of one of the mountains. so cool! people actually ski these things - not my cup of tea but more power to you

Day 215

today mike (my sister's boyfriend), morgan ( my sister) and i went rock climbing. so fun!!

that's mike - it was his first time climbing and he rocked :)

that's me

there's morgan :) she did so well today, i was super proud of her!

Day 214

we went to breakfast this morning and we tried to make a mohawk for my nephew. hilarious!

Day 213

today i met my family in denver and we drove up to vail for the week. this is the house we stayed in, so nice :)

this was the view from the back deck. man, i LOVE the mountains!!

Day 212

today was my friend april's wedding. this is a pic of the groom's cake and the wedding cake - so pretty and cute!

here are all the alpha xi delta's that went to the wedding. doesn't the bride look beautiful!!

Day 211

shelly was practicing tonight. she is so fun to listen to and so talented!

Day 210

so some folks requested to see the tattoo... meet abednego!

Day 209

i spent my lunch in the park again today and caught the fog rolling in over the hancock building - pretty cool :)

Day 208

and i gave in... i hadn't bought ice cream (other than going to DQ) in weeks! but i cleaned my bathroom tonight so i decided to reward myself :)

Day 207

so tonight shelley and i decided to get tattoos!! yes, seriously, we got tattoos and we love them :) we had been talking about it, planning it for a month or so now and finally had time to do it tonight

this is shelley trying not to let the pain get to her. she had the word victorious, in greek, tattoo'd on her wrist (revelation 15:2)

my hand holding her hand :)

and it's done! woo-hoo she made it :)

jamie came for moral support :)

here we are, victorious over the pain excited about our tattoos :) mine is on the inside of my right ankle (a little christian fish) and hers, well you know, its on her wrist. we had to take a pic in front of the Jesus tapestry - haha!

we headed to dinner at club lucky in bucktown and enjoyed an evening of awesome fellowship. these are our leftovers. the waiter brought them and shelley looked at him and said, "did you eat the rest? this can't be all of it?" somehow they managed to squeeze our leftovers into these little boxes

Day 206

and the door is finally fixed! now i have to sand and paint the trim and the door. who wants to place bets on how long that will take??

Day 205

amanda and i went to dinner tonight in evanston - so good :) i have to say, my friends really are just awesome. besides the fact that they all have graciously accepted my blog and the fact that i take their picture quite often just for that purpose, they are such amazing women of God. i am so blessed with these friendships.

Day 204

and tonight was the final night of VBS. it was such a wonderful week! the kids were amazing and learned so much about wisdom, joy, faith and victory in God. i learned just as much as they did! what a blessing to see so many hearts come together to serve the kids - it truly was breathtaking :)

these are the kids from each team that accumulated the most stickers throughout the week for a variety of things including good behavior, sharing and memorizing all the bible verse for each day, etc. our pastors suggested they open their gifts while still on stage and the little guy on the far right, shook his head and said no, he wanted to open his at home haha! so he stood there hugging that gift with all his might - he was so cute i couldn't stand it!

ashley was davey jones and did the most amazing job! i wish there were words to explain it, but she had a fight scene that looked so real it was unbelievable. you would have thought she was a professional actor! i continue to be blown away with the abilities God gives people when they surrender all for Him. simply incredible!

afterwards some of the adults went to dairy queen - shocking, i know :) this is maribel, her birthday is tomorrow so we were celebrating her as well. and believe it or not, this was also her very first DQ! and she loved it, of course.

this is jamie, she is super eager for her DQ! haha!