every friday one individual from my department leads devotions for us all. this is not my cup of tea, but it stretches me, so i guess that is good :) anyway, today was my turn and i wasn't quite sure what to do this week so i just shared from my heart. thought i would post it here as well...

This week has really forced me to try to understand James 1:2-4:

Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.

I don’t think I will ever completely grasp this concept - finding, really choosing joy through trials - but I can see a little more what James is trying to tell us. In the first break-in God’s grace covered me, and I was barely phased – even though the perpetrators actually got in! This second time though, I have not been nearly as steady – and they didn’t get in this time. This is not because God has changed, not because His grace is insufficient, but more because of my lack of faith in myself. We all know the Lord does not give us more than we can handle, but I have been questioning that this week. Lord, can I really handle this again? And yet, there is a part of me that knows I can, by God’s grace and provision, I can handle anything. Not by my might, but by His spirit.

I find myself asking why Lord, why again? What are you trying to teach me that I am just not getting? Or perhaps this isn’t even about me, perhaps this is for the criminals that seem to like my home. Perhaps all this is so they will be caught and maybe through being caught they will have the chance to turn their lives around, a chance they might not have had otherwise. (or maybe i am supposed to move?) I don’t know the answer, but I sure would like to know.

Then today I came across this poem by Russell Kelfer:

The Wait Poem

Desperately, helplessly, longingly, I cried;

Quietly, patiently, lovingly, God replied.

I pled and I wept for a clue to my fate . . .

And the Master so gently said,"Wait."

"Wait? You say wait?" my indignant reply.

"Lord, I need answers, I need to know why!"

Is your hand shortened? Or have you not heard?

By faith I have asked, and I'm claiming your Word.

My future and all to which I relate,

Hangs in the balance, and you tell me to Wait?

I'm needing a 'yes,' a go-ahead sign.

Or even a 'no,' to which I'll resign.

You promised, dear Lord, that if we believe,

We need but to ask, and we shall receive.

Lord, I've been asking, and this is my cry:

I'm weary of asking! I need a reply.

Then quietly, softly, I learned of my fate,

As my Master replied again, "Wait."

So I slumped in my chair, defeated and taut,

And grumbled to God, "So, I'm waiting . . . for what?"

He seemed then to kneel, and His eyes met with mine . . .

And He tenderly said, "I could give you a sign.

I could shake the heavens and darken the sun.

I could raise the dead and cause mountains to run.

I could give all you seek and pleased you would be.

You'd have what you want, but you wouldn't know Me.

You'd not know the depth of My love for each saint.

You'd not know the power that I give to the faint.

You'd not learn to see through clouds of despair;

You'd not learn to trust just by knowing I'm there.

You'd not know the joy of resting in Me,

When darkness and silence are all you can see.

You'd never experience the fullness of love,

When the peace of My spirit descends like a dove.

You would know that I give, and I save, for a start,

But you'd not know the depth of the beat of My heart.

The glow of My comfort late into the night,

The faith that I give when you walk without sight.

The depth that's beyond getting just what you ask,

From an infinite God who makes what you have last.

You'd never know should your pain quickly flee,

What it means that My grace is sufficient for thee.

Yes, your dearest dreams overnight would come true,

But oh, the loss if I lost what I'm doing in you.

So, be silent, my child, and in time you will see,

That the greatest of gifts is to truly know me.

And though oft My answers seem terribly late,

My most precious answer of all is still "WAIT".

This poem spoke so loudly to me. I have come to the Lord in prayer about a few things in the past few months and each time I hear him say wait. And each time I want to say but no, I just need a “yes” or a “no” – in fact, I will happily take a no, because at least then I will have the answer. But I know, wait IS the answer right now, whether I like it or not.

Then today I came across this verse again (for the fifth time this month – and I am not exaggerating):

Romans 8:24-25 (abbreviated): But hope that is seen is no hope at all. Who hopes for what he already has? But if we hope for what we do not yet have, we wait for it patiently.

There is that word again, WAIT. I find I have to remind myself, wait does not mean stop. It means seek the Lord and grow in faith as you trust Him while He directs your path. Seek what it is He wants you to learn, grow in the faith that can move mountains, all the while serving Him.

I will do my best to choose joy through every trial, regardless of how I feel or if the answer isn’t pleasing to my ears. I know one day, even if it isn’t until I am in heaven, I will look back at all this and see that God’s glorious plan was being fulfilled.